By Ragmah Jappie
Entrepreneur | Advocate for Ethical SME Development | Voice for Women in Business

There is a quiet cruelty that far too many women in business know all too well. It doesn’t always come with raised voices or slammed doors. Sometimes, it’s the whispered dismissal in boardrooms, the condescending emails, or the deliberate exclusion from conversations you helped start. It’s the slow erosion of credibility ~ especially when men in positions of power feel threatened by your presence, your resilience, or your following.

This isn’t just about ego. It’s about systemic gendered bullying masquerading as leadership. It’s about men who have learned that they can protect each other through silence, while undermining the women they find inconvenient.

The Hidden Culture of Undermining

South African society continues to battle deeply embedded patriarchal structures. According to a UCT Graduate School of Business study on gender in leadership (2021), women who lead with confidence are often labelled as “difficult”, “emotional”, or “overreacting” ~ while their male counterparts are applauded as assertive and visionary.

The saddest part? This culture doesn’t just exist in corporate towers ~ it thrives in academic institutions, government structures, and development agencies that publicly pride themselves on transformation and equity.

“When a man uses institutional influence to discredit a woman who built the very bridges he now walks on ~  that’s not leadership. That’s cowardice wrapped in bureaucracy.”

The Politics of Power and Reputation

In some institutions ~ yes, even those with social justice mandates ~ the arrival of a new face in leadership can sometimes trigger a political reset. Projects get shelved. Voices get silenced. And years of community-building, bridge-building, and brand goodwill get rewritten in favour of internal optics.

When senior men quietly discredit women they were never brave enough to challenge openly, it reveals more about their insecurity than our capability.

I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. And I know I’m not alone.

Let’s Talk About What It Really Is: Bullying

This kind of behaviour is not just bad management ~ it is gendered bullying. And it has been studied extensively.

A 2022 report by the Commission for Gender Equality in South Africa found that women in leadership roles across public and private sectors experience a higher rate of workplace bullying, reputational smearing, and non-cooperation from male colleagues ~ especially when power or visibility shifts.

And let’s be clear: bullying is not always overt. Sometimes it’s the strategic withholding of support. Sometimes it’s a whisper campaign. Sometimes it’s not being invited to the meetings you built from scratch.

Why It Matters

This isn’t about sensitivity. It’s about sustainability.

When institutional spaces allow silent bullying to go unchecked, they destroy years of trust, community goodwill, and social progress. Women founders — especially those from disadvantaged backgrounds ~ don’t just fight market forces. They fight the quiet politics of patriarchy.

To the Women Reading This

If you’ve ever been sidelined, spoken over, or bad-mouthed behind closed doors — I see you. I hear you. And I write this for you. Let this post be a digital hand on your shoulder reminding you: you were not wrong to expect respect.

A Closing Note

I still believe in respectful partnerships. In professionalism. In collaboration. But I also believe in truth. And the truth is: too many women are bullied in boardrooms that hide behind mission statements.

If you’re a man in leadership ~ ask yourself: Are you using your voice to protect or to silence? To empower or to erase?

Because history remembers the bridges ~ but it also remembers who tried to burn them.

Ragmah Jappie
Advocate for Women in Business | Cape Town